How to Never Ever Be Attacked by Vampires Ever: A Garlic Butter Recipe

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The day I learned how to roast garlic, I texted my best friend:

It seriously felt like a game-changer, especially when I started using it as a spread. So today, I’d like to share my findings!

Ingredience:

  • garlic (obviously) 🧄
  • butter (or vegan margarine, if you’re better than me) 🧈
  • olive oil 🫒
  • salt (or seasoning of your choice) 🧂

Utensils:

  • cup/bowl 🥣
  • cutting board
  • knife 🔪
  • aluminum foil
  • baking tray/pan
  • fork/masher
  • mesh colander (optional)
  • spoon (optional) 🥄

Directions:

  • Preheat oven to 400° Fahrenheit or 205° Celsius
  • In a dish, set aside however much butter you’d like to make. Leave it at room temperature so it softens a little (this’ll make it easier to mix with the garlic later).
  • Prep the garlic by removing the outer flaky layer and cutting the tops off, exposing all of the cloves.
  • Set the garlic on a sheet of aluminum foil. Douse the top with olive oil and seasoning- I just used plain ol’ salt because I wanted the garlic to be the star, but you can use your favourite spices to kick if up a notch, too!
  • Close up the aluminum foil and put it in a pan.
  • Bake for around 35 minutes.
  • Remove it from the oven, then (carefully!!!) open up the foil and set it aside to cool for a few minutes.
  • Once the garlic feels cool enough to handle, remove the cloves from their skins. You can do this with a utensil, or just your fingies. For my money, a fondue pick works great for this.
  • Plop those bad boys right into the butter, and then mash it all together (this step smells UH-MEEZING! 🤤)
  • You can make the garlic butter smoother by pressing it through a mesh colander with a spoon. I usually skip this step, though, because I like it chunkier. Up to you!
  • From here, you can store this tasty anti-vampire elixir in your fridge, or use it immediately.
  • Enjoy! I recommend spreading garlic butter on toast or stirring it into pasta (it’s a great way to make boxed mac ‘n’ cheese feel fancy).

Bonus tip: keep in mind that garlic affects body odour, so keep up with personal hygiene and maybe do an extra spritz of body mist for the next 1-2 days after eating (or just embrace the stank, knowing it’ll keep away even mildly vampiric entities).

Please let me know if you try this out. It’s definitely one of my new favourites.

Best fishes,

Robin ✌🏻